Confessions of an RM

nos·tal·gia   [no-stal-juh, -jee-uh, nuh-]
noun
a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

I have felt an excessive amount of nostalgia these past couple days... A "wistful desire" to return back home to New England. I suppose I brought it upon myself when I decided to unpack the boxes I sent home just a couple days ago. Keep in mind, I have been home a month, and I just got to it. I am sure I was trying to make up excuses of other things I had to do so I could avoid the inevitable. Sure enough, as I was packing up my Mission Memories into Rubbermaid containers, my heart ached. I yearned for that New England feeling I have been missing and just can't seem to find.

I figured it was about time I packed away my worn-out shoes. I don't even know how they made it as long as they did. But I packed away those memories and tried to move on from the dream I was living... and start living a new dream with those special memories deep in my heart.

Then today happened.

Tonight I went on a date with Edward, and we went to a Thai restaurant. I had no idea which restaurant we were going to, and as we pulled up to the restaurant, I saw the title... SAWADEE. Supposedly it is the best Thai restaurant in SLC. On my mission, I taught Bee Berg and she was from Thailand; one of the things she taught me in Thai is Sa Wa Dee Ka which means "Hello, how are you?" So, seeing this restaurant, I felt pretty excited that I knew what it meant. We went inside, ordered, and our food came pretty quickly. As I was given my meal, it was something Bee had made for us, and a flood of memories came back to me from my mission. Back on my birthday, we made this Thai dish in our apartment and it reminded me of sweet Phyllis, because her funeral had been on my birthday. It was all because of the similar food. I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I became a typical RM; I began to go on and on about my mission and the story of Phyllis. How could I not? She was so incredible.

I realized tonight why RM's can't hold in their excitement of talking about their missions. I felt close to exploding, how could I not talk about the part of my life that brought the most happiness? The nostalgia continued throughout the night, and a smile was on my face constantly. Oh how I miss home. I can't wait to breathe in the gorgeous fumes of New England this fall.... Hoping for October 4th, I will keep y'all posted.

But, to not sound completely hopeless, I am loving being home...

Edward surprised me the other night and took me to a Vegan restaurant because he knows eating out bothers my insides. Please tell me what guy would ever go to a Vegan restaurant for a girl. I am pretty lucky. Don't worry, I am not Vegan... Yet.